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It will be your turn when you wake up from your whimpering dream-state and begin to do the serious work -- and take the real social risks -- that it requires to have a real interaction with another real human being.You sound to me you are wallowing in what psychologists call learned helplessness... a state where you take a completely submissive posture towards life and feel you can do nothing other than hope, wish and pray that good things will happen to you -- and then you lie around whining and complaining when the gods fail to smile upon you.

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***QUESTION***

Hi David,

You are absolutely right! Being nice and wussy doesn't work AT ALL!!

Now, this technique of getting e-mail in three minutes... I must admit that it works very often. But it fails rather often too. Guess my success rate is only about 50% or something. That is, 40% gives a dummy address and 10% does NEVER respond. Maybe i'm doing something wrong here. But somehow i get the impression that most women are smarter than that. The most common response to that situation is something like: "What? You talk to me for a few minutes and you expect me to give my e-mail?"

My question could either be: "What am i doing wrong?" or "Is 50% the outcome that you would expect from this technique?". I let you decide which question you want to answer in the interest of your readers.

Anyway, you don't hear me complain. Because i've learned an awful lot from your book. And my success rates have at least doubled, if not tripled, after reading your stuff. And 50% is far better than where i come from.

Now, for my success story, this is an approach that gives me about 80% success. I talk to a woman for ten minutes (not three ;-)) and then i say something like "Hey, you seem to be rather smart... or is that just an impression?". When she says "no" i respond with: "Yeah right, that's what they all say! I bet you don't dare me to double check that!". Then i don't give her much time to respond. I immediately come back with: "Oh... you do? Okay... if you're up to the test, give me your e-mail. I'll send you some tricky questions and i expect SMART answers." I never mention "meeting" because that always seems to trigger some "pushing" alert.

Obviously, when she refuses to give her e-mail, i say: "See! That's exactly what i mean! Boy! Am i disappointed!". I very often get her e-mail after that. And those seem to be ALWAYS correct addresses ;-)

Keep up the terrific job David! You are really HELPING!

Bye, PhD (Belgium)

» MY COMMENTS:

I love letters like this one.

You get good email addresses from HALF the women you talk to for three minutes?

I'd say that you're doing pretty well, cowboy.

Probably half of the women in this world are either married, in a relationship, lesbians (YES!), or in a bad mood.

Your technique for getting it up to 80% is great.

Challenging, funny, and interesting. It creates curiosity and comes across as low risk for the women. Very nice.

Just keep working on it, and you'll improve over time.

Good job!

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