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Any program that helps individuals confront phobias (and social phobia is as real as any) always focuses on gradual exposure to increasingly stronger episodes of that person's worse fear (desensitization) in an attempt to convince the mind of the harmlessness of the stimulus -- which is always far less that perceived. But perception is reality, if it's real for your mind, then it's real.

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***QUESTION***

Hello Dave, This is T., I just ordered and received your CD's and I'm ready to roll, I just want to let you know my current situation, not once have i dated someone who I was really attracted to, clicked with, and who was emotionally stable, I'm 27 years old and all my friends are dating descent looking women and moving on in their relationships, They tried setting me up with a few people, but they were all nasty looking, and they tell me that i'm very picky and that i should learn to "like someone for who they are" which i think is pure bullsh**, to me, attraction is very important or else i can't date the person, I know I'm a good-looking guy and I can do just as good and better once I gain the tools from your CD's, I have a problem with being "nice," instead of cocky, ball-busting, and mysterious, like all my other friends, the few girls that i've dated that i found attractive always stopped calling me and I simply don't know why, i simply don't have the positive qualities that the "jerk" has, i simply don't know how to approach someone who's attractive and carry on a good conversation, will the cd's turn all that around for me? hope this email isn't too long, if it is, i'll keep it shorter next time.

» MY COMMENTS:

The short answer is: YES. DEFINITELY.

By the way, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING SAYING:

"...hope this email isn't too long, if it is, i'll keep it shorter next time..."

That's WUSSY TALK.

Are you with me?

Next time you write me, and you think your email might be a little too long, say "If this email is too long for you to include in your newsletter, let me know and I'll edit it".

Don't say things like "hope this email isn't too long".

Subtle things communicate so much.

EVICT THE INNER WUSSY!

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